Wife & Kids

Ok, so yesterday my wife and daughter get to church and I see what my daughter is wearing and I about pass out…

First, let me say that I leave the house early on Sunday mornings (usually before everybody has showered and gotten dressed) so I never know what anyone is wearing to church until they get here and I see them.  Ok, now that being said, my 10 year old daughter was wearing a dress that Linda (my wife) wore to a yacht party we went to when we were serving in Brazil.  I’m not going to go into detail about the dress, but I remember seeing Linda in the dress that night of the party and thinking to myself….”Wow John,  how did you land such a babe?”

No problem…it’s perfectly normal to look at my wife in a pretty dress and think that I got the better end of the deal.

Well, to see my 5th grade daughter in that dress yesterday morning…I thought I was going to pass out….SHE LOOKED WONDERFUL (stay away boys)  My little girl is growing up…she can’t be…I won’t let her (stay away boys)!!!!

I had the same feeling yesterday morning as the day that Karli came home after getting her long, beautiful hair cut off……I CAN’T BELIEVE IT…….Lord, please don’t let my little girl grow up…..

Parents…….WAKE UP……our kids are growing up…they will be out of the house before you know it….cherish the time you have with them….

By the way, I won’t begin to tell you the feeling I have that our youngest son is going to high school next year and our oldest is graduating from high school in less than 3 weeks…..

Somebody catch me….I think I am gonna pass out…..

Have a good week!!!!

John

Thank you for all the kind things that many of you said about my mother.  Mother’s Day for us was a great day….I love my wife….she is such a good mother….(No, I am not trying to score points)

Thought I would give you another thought or two today.

Linda and I are going to see Casting Crowns this Thursday night.  One of the songs they sing is called “Slow Fade”  If you haven’t heard it, youtube it.  Be careful little _______ what you ________.   That is the gist of the song.  Fill in the blank!  Ears, eyes, feet, mouth.  Hear, see, go, say.

We must be warriors for our kids.  There are people that will help us look after our kids, but, nobody but a parent is going to do whatever it takes for our children.  The song says that people do not crumble in a day, it takes a while.  But, when we allow our children to hear, see, go, and say the things that will tear them down, eventually our children will crumble….whether it be addictions or unhealthy lifestyles.

Parents, we have to monitor what our kids watch, where they are going, who they are hanging with, and even the language they are using.  The hard part about that is this:  THEY ARE WATCHING US!!!!   We must set a good example.

What about when your kids spend the night with someone…do you know what they are watching there, do you know what is going on at that house?  Not trying to scare anyone, just trying to get you think about the possibilities…..

Our homes, our marriages, our children…..the foundations of these three are being challenged.   The challenges won’t often come as a wrecking ball….they come more often as termites.  The termite can ruin a structure before anyone realizes.  Spray your marriage and your children for termites….don’t let the little things of life eat away at the foundation of what you are trying to teach your children and how you are trying to love your spouse……

Have a great week,
John

Before I say anything, I want to say that my children have been blessed with a mother that loves them and watches out for them in a way that I (as a man) will never understand.  Thank you God for Linda…..
Although I love being with my wife on Mother’s Day, I do not really enjoy Mother’s Day anymore.
It was about 8 and a half years ago my mother died. Many will tell you that she was one of the sweetest people they had ever met.  She loved her Savior,  she loved her family, she was a wonderful wife, and she was a great example of what the Christian life should be….(read Proverbs 31).

I remember one weekend when I was still in high school that my mom & dad had gone to my aunt’s house.  They got home on Sunday night and I remember asking my mom to come into her room so that I could talk to her.  I had never really missed my mom as much as I did that weekend; it was just two days, but God gave me a special appreciation that weekend for my mother….maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had burned our dinner.  Nah!  My mom and I prayed together that night and I thanked God for the mother he gave me.

That was 25 years ago, but I remember it well.  My mother prayed for me.  She prayed that I would turn out right (still remains to be seen), prayed that I would have a great marriage (I have the best), prayed that I would be blessed with children (have the 3 best kids a dad could hope for), and that I would always strive to follow after the will of God in my life (still trying).

Thank God for MOMS.

Since today is the National Day of Prayer, I wanted to give you several websites that give you ideas on how to pray for your kids…..thanks for praying for me, mom!

http://www.deacondanwright.org/2009/01/31-ways-to-pray-for-your-kids.html

http://www.richmondacademy.org/parents/twelve_ways_to_pray_for_your_child.htm

http://www.christianitytoday.com/momsense/2002/summer/3.34.html

http://www.compassion.com/sponsordonor/prayerpartner/waystopray/default.htm

OK, I know most of the things I have said so far have just been about kids, so I figured it was time to write something about my wife…or should I say wives, in general, or should I say spouses? What can I write that I know she will read and she will like? Well, here goes…

For those of you guys who are reading this….I have something important to say…..actually someone else said it…..see if it sounds familiar….

“Husbands, love your wives…..and do not be harsh with them.”

Do we love our wives? Most of us say that we do. But, do our actions toward them show that? How about how you talk to her…or how you talk about her…or how you treat her….does that say that you love her? As you all know, it is one thing to say you love something, but it is totally different to show you love it, or act like you love it, or treat it like you love it…. Our wives need to hear it, need to see it, need to feel it, and need to rest in the fact that the love is unconditional. The quote from above is found in one place in the Bible (Colossians 3:19), but there is another place (Eph 5:25) where it says that husbands should love their wives and give themselves up for her….just like Jesus did for us….strong stuff I know…..

Single ladies that are reading this….wait for that guy that will love you without conditions.

Single men that are reading this….be that man that will die for his wife and show her that he loves her, and treats her like he loves her, and says that he loves her…

Married men that are reading this….MAN UP…be the husband God wants you to be. Your wife does not want to hear how much weight you think she needs to lose….she needs to hear you say that you love her…no matter what.

Sorry if I sound preachy…but sometimes I need to preach to myself…this time I just wrote it all out….

One more thing guys….your wife may not be your mom, but she is the mother to your kids….don’t forget what Sunday is….

Have a great week,

John

A few years ago Linda and I were leading a class on marriage.  As we were talking about raising children one of the men in the class said something that I had never really thought about.  He said something like this, “It is not my job to be my child’s friend, my job is to teach them…”

That thought began to resonate within me as I realized the amount of truth in that statement.  In the book, A Father’s Book of Wisdom by H. Jackson Brown he says, “Fathers are pals nowadays because they don’t have the guts to be fathers.”  Pretty strong, huh?

Here is my thought….  Be the dad, be the mom….set rules, guidelines, boundaries, be firm, be consistent, but do not just try to be a friend. When your kids grow up they will remember that…and they will remember that there was a friendship, in addition to the structure.

Parenting requires a lot.   Patience and flexibility are two of those things.  (Lots of caffeine helps too)  There has to be a clear boundary between the parent and the child.  Mom, who is in charge…you or the 2 year old that is screaming for another popsicle?  Dad, who is charge…you or your little 15 year old princess that wants to stay out until 2:oo am because her friends are?

Your children need STRUCTURE and CONSISTENCY.  Two of the most difficult things we as parents try to give.  Be the parent….friendship will come later in life.

My dad died when I was 18.  How do I remember him?  Yeah, he was my fishing buddy and water skiing buddy, but I also know that he was the dad, and he was in charge.  He loved me without question, but he wanted to make a man out of me….he did that by teaching me, not trying to be my best friend.

Have a great week!

OK…so one day I am sitting at the computer in the kitchen while Linda is getting dinner ready when I look down at my facebook page and I have a message from my son ” Daddy, is dinner about ready?”  Did I mention that he is in his room on his itouch using the facebook app?

Well, I have a decision to make.  Do I answer him, or do I go to his room and say, “You have got to be kidding me”?

Those of you that are in my generation…I guess 35 and over maybe…we are not ALL technically incompetent, but there is a certain amount of fear involved when we are introduced to a new techno item.

OK, admit it, how many of you said that you would NOT get on Facebook?  How many of you linked to this site from FB?  I have a brother  ( http://jodyshelton.org ) who is a Youth Pastor…I remember him telling me that he would not do FB….now he has 1,280 friends, most of those being teenagers.

What am I saying?  If you can keep up with technology without spending too much money doing it, go for it….there is some technology that actually saves you time and money.

So, how did I answer my son?  I facebooked (is that a word now?) him back and said…”not sure when dinner will b ready…i’ll text momma and find out”

Have a great weekend!!!

John

I am actually in two books right now.  The first one is Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado, and the other one is titled, You Hold the Keys to Your Child’s Character by Lynda Hunter.

It seems rather appropo to me that some of the giants we face as parents have to deal with our children.  Linda and I are facing a giant called high school graduation….those of you that know us, know that the graduation ceremony for Little John (I’m going to call him that until he tells me not to) will be a cryfest for both of us…not that I cry very often for anything.

Well, the other two giants deal with our second child, Noah, going to high school and our baby girl, Karli (daddy’s princess) going to middle school….they cannot be getting that old.

One thing is for certain!  We have taken Ms. Hunter’s book to heart.  We have prayed that our children would follow after God.  As a parent, there is no greater desire than to see your children grow up and become spiritual giants in the faith that you have tried to pass on to them…..I tell them to follow my example only if I am following after the things of God…..what a GIANT task that is for a parent.

Hang in there…yes, your kids are watching you, but they are forgiving.  Admit your mistakes, ask forgiveness, and your children will respect you even more because they will see you as real and transparent….

Have a great week!!!

OK…so the poll below was not really a Gallup quality poll, but it did tell me something…40 people voted….

I knew how most of the women would answer the question….I remember my mom always worrying about me and what time I was going to get home…She always said… “Please just call and let me know you are alive”  I can’t imagine being a mother….makes me thankful for my mom, especially, and for my wife who is a wonderful mom.

I hope to be an encouragement to all who read what I have to write, but most importantly I hope that the parents and married couples that do read this blog can learn from my mistakes or learn from the books or articles that I have read.

By the way, have you seen the Burger King commercial about square pants and dancing girls?  …what do you think?

I have a simple goal for creating this blog.  I want to offer practical and encouraging words for parents and married couples.  This might come in an encouraging word or might be a great website I have found or a book which I have read.

Let’s get started: