Wife & Kids

I have accepted a ministry position with NewSpring Church to become the Children’s Director for the new Columbia Campus that will be launching in the very near future. I cannot begin to tell you how excited we are to begin this new journey. God has opened some amazing doors for us in the past 6-8 weeks and we are stepping through them and moving to Columbia, with a goal of making the name of Jesus famous one life at a time in the state’s capital.

I will be working with a campus pastor (Alden Ellis) and a worship leader (Stephen Cope) and am blessed to be partnering with these two guys; they are ready to see God work in great and mighty ways. We have already heard from people that are ready to jump and volunteer in the ministry down there.

Pray for all 3 of our families as we relocate and team together to make the name of Jesus famous in Columbia.

Have a great week!

Check out Alden and Stephen’s blogs!!!!

www.aldenellis.com
http://stephencope.blogspot.com

72 years ago today in Brownfield, a small town in Texas, a little boy named William Claude was born to Ruth and Virgil Ray.  As he grew up, some called him Willie, some called him Claudie, some called him Bill.  I called him Dad!

Bill Shelton was one of those people you sometimes say this about:  “He never met a stranger”.  Bill died on October 30, 1985 at the age of 48….too young.  I remember talking to my dad about his mom and dad; they divorced when he was in his early teens ( I think that is right).  My dad quit school after 9th grade.  My dad got married to my mom in 1960.  They left home to become missionaries not long after that…they never made it to the mission field.  My dad went to floral design school and my mom went to Draughn’s Business College.  They opened a flower shop in 1965….my sister still has it…..tell her you talked to me I’m sure you will get a better deal….hahaha!!!!!

Why the bio?  My dad would have been 72 today.  I don’t understand why he died at such an early age, but I do know this:  God’s plan is perfect and as I look back over the past 24 years since my dad died, I see God leading me in a direction that I’m not sure I would have taken had Dad still been alive….  As I have stated in a past blog, I know my dad was not a saint, but he was the best dad in the whole world….he loved God, he loved my mom, he loved his three children, and he tried to be kind to everyone he met (that is close to sainthood in my book).

I hope and pray that my kids will look back some day with the same fond and indelible memories of me loving them and spending time with them as I do when I think back to my relationship with my dad.

Not sure who said it:  “Any man can be a father, but not every one can be a daddy”.

My prayer for you guys, and myself:  “Help me be a daddy.”

Here’s to you William Claude Shelton……

Thanks for teaching me to be a daddy……

Have a great week!

Gonna stray from the usual topic this time.

We have some friends that asked us to dog sit for the week.  Before I go on, let me just say that Linda could dog sit for a living if there were a huge demand for it…especially when the dog is as cool as this one…..a beautiful 8 year old Golden Retriever.  Yeah, Jake has a few little weird habits and idiosyncracies, but he is cool.  When we were over at  the house Sunday afternoon with the owners, they were telling us about all the little things he does and how he likes to go in a certain door and out a certain door, depending on the time of the day.  One thing the dog owner did tell us to watch for was that Jake might get nervous and/or sick since his master was gone for the week.  He said that he might act weird or not respond well to us since he would be missing his master.

Well, what a great analogy for the Christian life.  Just as Jake is longing for that daily relationship with his master, do you long for the daily relationship with your Master?  You know if Jake did not have a relationship with his master it would not matter that his master was going to be gone for a week.  Thing about our Master is this:  He doesn’t ever leave us….

I hope that you have such  relationship with God that when you stray from Him you get nervous or sick.  No, God does not have the electric collar around us so that we get shocked when we step outside of the boundaries….but, God loves us so much that when we stray or go outside the boundaries, He hurts.

Maybe I will get back on topic here in regard to my kids.  What if someone created a “kid collar”?  It would shock them if they went where they were not supposed to go or did something they were not supposed to do…..guess that wouldn’t be right?  I may try to figure out something like that when boys start thinking about asking my little girl out……

Have great week!

Linda and I watched a movie the other day that was one of those that stick with you.  “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas”  The movie was very meaningful and had a lot of good lessons to learn, but I want to just point out one.  If you haven’t seen it, then don’t be mad when I tell you how it ends.

Let me go back to my childhood for a bit.  I am so grateful to my parents for how they guided me when it came to choosing good friends.  When I was 11 or 12, my mother told me that I could not hang out with a certain friend any more.  I was a little upset at the time, but looking back, she was very wise and discerning in her choice of friends for me.  When I was 14, I found two guys that I still call good friends.  Granted, I might not talk to them much anymore, but I know they would do anything in their power to help me through any situation, and I would do the same for them.   Carl and Brad became like brothers to me during high school.

I talked to Brad the other day (that is old person talk for 3 or 4 weeks ago)….it was like we hadn’t missed a beat….

Haven’t talked to Carl in a while….Carl, if you read this….I probably wasn’t the friend you needed there for a while, and for that I apologize…..

As we have taken our kids around the world in the past 10 years, we always tell them when we leave some place that they will always have those friends.  I remember praying for our kids while we were in Brasil; we always prayed for God to give them good friends.  I remember moving here to South Carolina; we prayed for God to provide them with good friends…..He has.  As we think about our next place to serve, Linda and I are praying for friendships for them that will last forever.

Getting back to the movie…one of the boys in the movie shows what a true friend is.  He decides to step into his friend’s world….walk in his shoes…  The other boy was a young Jewish boy in a Nazi concentration camp.  Do you have friends that you would die for?

I am not encouraging my kids to go and die for their friends, but what a lesson.  Do you know who your kids are hanging out with?  Do you know who they are calling friend?  Get involved….. don’t apologize for “helping” your kids pick their friends……

Do your children know that you care who their friends are?

Have a great week!

Hope you had a great holiday weekend.  I love celebrating the 4th of July because it helps me remember how important it is to pray for our troops year around and not just on “special” days.  What I love too, is the fact that all the food is calorie free on holidays (isn’t it?)….not that I ate that much.

I got to spend some “alone” time with Linda over the weekend…we had a great time.  I love being with her, it makes me realize how blessed I am to have a companion for life that loves me in spite of all my faults and weaknesses.  My 14 yr old, Noah, and I were talking in the car the other day about the different types of love.  It is sad that the English language has one word for love….”love”.  Noah asked me about “Agape” love.  I can honestly say that Linda has that for me….I just pray that I show her that I love her unconditionally, as well.  I told Noah about the “Eros” love; the kind I have for your mother, I told him….he didn’t want to know any more about that…as I am sure you don’t either.

As I reflected on this, I though about Friday, July 3rd…that was the day that Linda and I spent together.  July 3rd was the day my parents got married in 1960.  This would have been their 49th wedding anniversary.  As you probably know, my dad died 25 years ago, when I was 18, and my mom died in December of 2000.  I cannot express how thankful I am that I was able to grow up in their home.  They taught me a lot of things, but I really think one of the most important things my dad taught me was this: “Love your wife, and give yourself for her…”  You see, he did that…I watched him.  I watched him work hard for his family, I watched him love his three kids, but, I also watched him treat my mom like a queen….that is a legacy by which I want to be remembered.  Yes, he treated my mom very well, but he also treated others with a kindness that is unparalleled these days….”Christlike”….is the term.

OK, some of you may be thinking that I am making my dad out to be a saint.  That is common for people to do after they lose a family member, spouse, child, etc.  Well, I know he wasn’t a saint ( Although, I think my mother probably was…), but it is healthy for me to take a look at his life and learn from the good that he did.

What will people say about you when you are gone?

The following statement is taken from TLC  Jon & Kate plus 8 website:

During this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family. This includes no longer commenting publicly or reacting to media stories and speculation. Our goal is to do the very best for our children and that will be done as privately as possible. We appreciate the understanding, support and well wishes from so many.

I must admit that I came home the other night anxious to see what was going to happen.  The funny thing is that I had never watched the show before,  just heard about it from friends and family.

I just want to make a comment or two about this.

I hope I don’t ever come to the point in my marriage or my parenthood and say…”during this very difficult time we will be working to focus solely on the needs of our family.”  I pray that everyday I focus solely on the needs of my family.  How are you doing with that this week?

I don’t know anything about Jon or Kate; I didn’t watch the show.  But, I do know this:  Whatever the issues, whatever the problems, whatever the future holds for this family…..the kids (8 of them) are the ones who stand to be affected the most by the decision of the parents.  Was it the lure of the money involved that caused this whole situation?  I can’t help but think that there were underlying issues long before the cameras came around, but who knows.

Parents, don’t let the lure of money affect the way you bring up your children.  Is it ultimately worth it to have a nicer house but see your kids only on the weekend?  Is it worth it to be able to give your kids all the things that you think they “need”?  When your kids move out and go to college, what will you look back and say?  Will you say, I wish they would have had more things……or will you say, I wish I would not have spent so much time with them?  I know that sounds stupid, but think about it….what are we showing our kids with the way we work and try to “provide” for them?  What do they need for them or us to say that we are “providing” for them?

OK, I am on a soap box….  I just can’t stand seeing some of the parenting that I see from day to day…..strong I know, but life only goes around once, our kids are only at home for a little while, and then they move on…..

What will you give your kids?  THINGS?  or YOU?

I had the best meal the other night…I got to take my wife to Outback…We had a giftcard…Don’t you love giftcards?  You can go somewhere you probably would not otherwise go…..I think that may have been my 3rd time to ever go to Outback…Anyway, Linda and I had a nice meal…the bloomin’ onion thing…wow….One of those times you are glad your wife is eating onions too…you know we were on a date…and there was a good chance I was going to get to kiss her, eventually….Okay..TMI

When is the last time you got to use a gift card that someone had given you?  Have you ever had one that you let expire?

God gave me a gift card when he sent Linda into my life 21 years ago and I am determined to use what He gave me and enjoy it while I can…. You never know when you might not have that special someone around anymore.  God gave me a Dad for only 18 years…I am glad to say that I used the time I had with him as much as I think I could have.  He gave me a mom for 33 years and I tried to use my time with her as well as I could.

God has given me a wonderful wife and 3 spectacular children…. Outside of my relationship with God, they are the most important things in my life.  I will not let them stay in my wallet like a gift card that is forgotten about and never used…. I have credit, I have 4 gifts someone (God) gave me.  I intend to use them as much as I can.

Saw a movie yesterday (Imagine That)with Karli (my 11 year old girl) and Linda and one of Karli’s friends.  Eddie Murphy (a decent Eddie Murphy movie)  was portraying a dad that did not have his family life in its proper perspective, but by the end of the movie..he realized that he had been given a gift…

I sure hope you have people in your life that you see as gifts….

So, if you are wanting to give away any gift cards, I like Outback…

OK..for all of you that have been dying to see what I would write next…here goes….

Last week was monumental in the Shelton Family.  Little John graduated high school, Noah finished middle school, and Karli finished elementary school.  Something is wrong here…why would we plan to have three kids that would achieve these monumental periods in their lives at the same time….You are right…we didn’t plan it that way.  I can say this…emotionally, for me, it was one of the most rewarding yet difficult times I think a parent can face.  But, those of you that know me know that I don’t really ever get emotional. ***tongue in cheek here***

As Friday of least week got here, Linda’s mom & dad and her sister and brother-in-law all got here as we were preparing to celebrate Little John’s graduation.  We are all cleaning up after we had a lite lunch and I go into Little John’s room…..I was not expecting him to be wearing his cap and gown yet, but he was…I LOST IT….My firstborn son standing there in a graduation cap & gown (with honor cords on I might add).  Wasn’t it just yesterday we brought him home from the hospital….all worried that he would catch something from all the people at church that wanted to hold him…. I went back to my room and started thinking about when I graduated from high school…a few years ago……If my mom and dad were half as proud of me as I am of John….WOW….then I cried…sure wish my mom and dad could be here to see this…something tells me that they were….

Noah…going to high school in the Fall…..

Karli going to middle school in the Fall…..

John starting college in the Fall…..

Gee…what do you say?

I told Linda the other day that I loved her even more than Peanut Butter.  For those of you that know me, that is saying something.  My marital relationship, besides my relationship to Christ, is the single most important thing in my life.  Sorry kids, I have loved your mother long before you were born, and it is because of her that you are here.

I love getting home from work and seeing the kids after they have been in school all day and asking them how their day was….

You know what I love more than that?  I love getting home from work and seeing Linda…sometimes I even ask her “Who’s your daddy.” (OK, I admit, you probably didn’t need to know that)

I read a study this morning on what makes women happy in their marriage.  www.happiestwives.org

According to the research that Wilcox and Nock have done, the top predictor of a woman’s happiness is her husband’s emotional engagement.
What does that mean guys? It means listen to your wives, express appreciation AND affection, spend quality time with them. Date your wife: OK, Linda if you are reading this we need to go on a date next week when school gets out.
Don’t worry people, I will call her and officially ask her out….she likes that…
As I referenced in my last post, the kids are going to grow up and be gone from the house one day….I don’t want to have to reintroduce myself to my wife after they leave…I want to be so attached to her emotionally that we can pick up right where we were after our latest date night.

After I told Linda about her being #1 on my list–even above Peanut Butter, I asked her if she loved me more than Dark Chocolate….she hesitated a bit, but told me what I wanted to hear…..She loves me more than dark chocolate and I make her happy…

Have a great week!

I talked to my oldest son on the phone a few minutes ago and almost cried when I hung up the phone.  He is through with school.  Besides graduation next week, he will never have to go to school again.  I am thankful he has chosen to go on to college (although, his mother and I STRONGLY suggested it).

Just want to take this opportunity I have to tell those of you reading this how proud I am of my firstborn son.  I am extremely proud of all 3 of my kids, but we are only graduating one from high school this year (gosh, what would we do if we had twins?)

John, if you read this, I want you to know how proud we are of you.  You have grown up to be a gentle, kind, caring, and Godly young man.  Some girl is going to be blessed when she marries you (don’t worry about that any time soon).

Always use the talents God has given you to serve Him.  Thank you for teaching me so much about what it means to take a stand for what you believe.  Thank you for being such a good example to your younger brother and sister.  Keep your eyes on Jesus….the “author and finisher of our faith”…..

Parents, I will say it again:  Cherish the time you have with your kids.  Because, before you know it they will be graduating from high school and moving on.  Instill Godly character in them.  Teach them to say “thank you” and how to respect their elders.  Tuck them in bed at night so they fall asleep knowing that you love them.  Read to them when they are young and then listen to them read to you when they are older.

Before you know it…there will be another man in the house.

Have a great week!