Wife & Kids

Read a great article today about parenting.  I’m gonna try to sum up what I got out of it in less than 2000 words.

I remember quite a few years ago when a mother told me that her son was in trouble and looking at jail time.  She then asked me what she and her husband did wrong in raising him.  I think this question is asked by a lot of parents.  What did we do wrong?  Why are they acting like that?  Why are they not in church?  In general, most people that read this blog still have children at home…let me help soothe some of your anxiety.

What is your goal as a parent?  Please don’t make that goal be one which requires a perfect child at the end.  There are no perfect children, just as there are no perfect parents.

Eph 6:4 says to “bring a child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” KJV,  “training and instruction” NIV, “discipline and instruction” NAS.  I think that most translations of this verse do not really grab the essence of what the original language tried to convey.  OK, I know this is starting to sound like either a sermon or a seminary class, but I think it is important to see that “nurture” might better be translated “structure your child’s mind and actions on child-rearing principles that are of the Lord.”  In other words bring them up on Godly principles, help them wrap their minds and actions around those of Jesus….teach them the truth in love, correct them when they need it, comfort them when they need it, discipline them when they need it, but do it all based upon a biblical framework.

So, why am I trying to say all this?  Simple, I want to assure parents that the end goal of parenting is not to create perfect children that then become perfect adults.  God had problems with his first two children (Adam & Eve), they in turn had a little issue with Cain and Abel.  Sin does that to people.  We make bad decisions. (cf. Gilbert Arenas)

The Barna Group and LifeWay research both show that after the age of 18 approximately 60-70% of children are “dropping out of church”.  My personal opinion on that is that we as parents and we as the church must live out our faith in a real fashion.  Parents, admit to your kids when your wrong, tell them you made a mistake, ask them for forgiveness, learn through the process.  Church, BE REAL!!!!

I had a mother tell me a few weeks ago that her 6 or 7 year old child would not do something that she needed him to do.  I sure wanted to say…”Oh, is he in charge?”  But, I held my tongue.  Probably good that I did.