Linda and I watched a movie the other day that was one of those that stick with you. “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas” The movie was very meaningful and had a lot of good lessons to learn, but I want to just point out one. If you haven’t seen it, then don’t be mad when I tell you how it ends.
Let me go back to my childhood for a bit. I am so grateful to my parents for how they guided me when it came to choosing good friends. When I was 11 or 12, my mother told me that I could not hang out with a certain friend any more. I was a little upset at the time, but looking back, she was very wise and discerning in her choice of friends for me. When I was 14, I found two guys that I still call good friends. Granted, I might not talk to them much anymore, but I know they would do anything in their power to help me through any situation, and I would do the same for them. Carl and Brad became like brothers to me during high school.
I talked to Brad the other day (that is old person talk for 3 or 4 weeks ago)….it was like we hadn’t missed a beat….
Haven’t talked to Carl in a while….Carl, if you read this….I probably wasn’t the friend you needed there for a while, and for that I apologize…..
As we have taken our kids around the world in the past 10 years, we always tell them when we leave some place that they will always have those friends. I remember praying for our kids while we were in Brasil; we always prayed for God to give them good friends. I remember moving here to South Carolina; we prayed for God to provide them with good friends…..He has. As we think about our next place to serve, Linda and I are praying for friendships for them that will last forever.
Getting back to the movie…one of the boys in the movie shows what a true friend is. He decides to step into his friend’s world….walk in his shoes… The other boy was a young Jewish boy in a Nazi concentration camp. Do you have friends that you would die for?
I am not encouraging my kids to go and die for their friends, but what a lesson. Do you know who your kids are hanging out with? Do you know who they are calling friend? Get involved….. don’t apologize for “helping” your kids pick their friends……
Do your children know that you care who their friends are?
Have a great week!
Great blog! I appreciate this affirmation that it is okay for me to direct my children to the “right” kind of friends. We have been very fortunate thus far, but I know this will really become important for my boys in middle school and high school.
Funny – I have 3 girls that I went to middle and high school with that I don’t see very often. But, like you, I know I could call them up to come to my rescue at any time. They give great advice and are always there when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to rejoice with!
I’m praying for ya’ll! Best wishes in your next ministry opportunity.
Great post! It’s hard explaining to your children about certain friends, all the while telling them that we love everyone… Y’all are great parents and I know you have a very good handle on this… Call us and come over to Laurens as soon as you can!
John, that was a fantastic post! I think those of us who have young children need to seek the advice and wisdom from those who have survived these years. I know Carl counts you as a dear friend and brother as well. Those High School years are precious memories for me too and I am glad that your Mom gave you such good guidance so that our family could have the blessing of knowing and loving you. Thanks for being part of our lives and for being a good Dad for your children.
Hey John, Just read your post and it is true I would do anything I could for you or your family on a moments notice. It brings to mind homework my daughter brought home and she asked, how did I choose my friends when I was growing up. I told her it came down to what I was involved in that helped set my path and who my parents let me spend my time with. She asked me to explain, so I said; I was in sports, church activities and choir and spent time at school, tennis court, my house or my friend’s house. I went on to say this is why I want her to find a sport or something of interest that she likes or has a passion for and can have her friends over any time she wants. This way when you make this commitment to be apart of a team or organization a higher standard or expectation will be set by those around you and intrinsically you will want to do “your very best.” Hopefully through this process you will become close friends with those of similar leadership qualities and the time you spend will form a foundation for a life long friendship.
In today’s society I do have concerns though as I feel it is much different when we grew up and want your input. I know every generation that is older says this, but I feel we now have a generation of children and adults whose morals and values have eroded and take “the path of least resistance” therefore do not make time for family. I think family time together or “lack of” time together is one of the most vital factors that have contributed to this change over the years and it scares me for the future of my children. This is why I do everything I can to put value and importance on the time we have together “as a family” weather it is just eating at the table or going to Disneyland.
Between you, Carl and I, we knew each other’s family very well and in return they knew what we were up to by just the way we looked when we came in a room. All I can do is continue to pray, take an active role in my children’s lives as a family, know and spend time with their friends, tell and show my children I love them and hopefully they will be blessed with a few life long friends that will hold them accountable while they are young or who they can call on in a moments notice when they are old. Yes I know this last sentence was very long but writing has never been my strength and I did say old, I meant older. I do not plan on getting old!